Scrolling through my blog is painful, sometimes I can't believe it's me.
Did that really happen? Wow! Was it really that bad?
I'm not saying I forgot about all the sleepless nights, or spending hours getting ready just to got to the store. I haven't forgot that the back of my knees were so bad that I couldn't walk and limped everywhere. I haven't forgot THE BOILS. I still consistently check my skin thinking that there's just going to be one on my legs.
I did forgot about all the things I could/did do before going through Topical Steroid Withdrawal.
Like wearing whatever I want and not the same jacket over and over again because it was the only one that hurt me. I forgot how I wore makeup. I forgot what it was like to smile without having to worry about my lip splitting.
I almost forgot who I was.
I was so scared of losing myself from TSW but I can slowly see myself coming back. But there are something that are going to take longer. I don't think my hair will ever recover its original thickness. It's something I've come to term with, I'm thankful I have any at all. Also I have anxiety speaking and looking at people. It's something I avoided heavily for the first two years, but now that I can I find I stutter and jumble my words. This had never been an issue before TSW.
Topical Steroid Withdrawal is serious stuff. There are still many who don't believe in it and there are others who are already giving the condition a bad name. This is the best condition my skin has been in since 2000. Lichen Planus, Psoriasis, Eczema, MRSA, and Topical Steroid Withdrawal. I've been sick all of my 20's. Those are supposed to be my prime years, and here I am, dying. I'm happy others are realizing this, but sad so many people are going through this.
Also I'm disgusted at those who try to make a buck of this, or anyone who tries to glamorize this. I'm not targeting anyone or trying point blame at any websites but I'm starting to see this more often. I don't think it's okay having a blog, having followers, talking about this disease like it's the fad and trying to pitch "What make up is the best for covering up TSW? Check out my blog for more!"
You shouldn't be putting make up on your messed up skin in the first place! I don't like that you post pictures of yourself with a pouty face and full on make up and bandages around your neck. #Topical steroidwithdrawal. There's nothing wrong with a lil eyeliner or lip-gloss every once in a while when your feeling down. But when that's your whole gimmick.... Shame on you.
I do have MAD RESPECT for those who try to go deeper and learn why this is happening. The men and women who make these giant posts with all those silly pictures and graphs, I read them. I admire their strength in being some of the first, they had less guidance than us. I know many of these guys are veterans but these are the people you should be following. Those who may even healed and are still fighting with us.