Thursday, February 27, 2014

Day 166/ Moisturizer Withdrawal 1 Week

This shedding needs to end. Or at least shed off. This half shed/ half stuck on my face look is awful. Other then that, the redness is down, but the itching is about the same.

I usually try to pick off the larger pieces because I can't help it,  but I can't do it now. If I do the skin is super raw and worse. (Yes I picked off a piece above my lips, hence the bleeding.)

This flare needs to end.

Tuesday, February 25, 2014

Day 175/MW Day 5

Things look bad, super flaky and dry. But the red has gone down! That spot above my lip just does not want to heal.... I should put something on it.

Monday, February 24, 2014

Day 174- Day 4 of Moisturizer Withdrawal

I woke up all sweaty this morning. So, I figured if there was any day of the week for my quick shower it should be my day off considering how painful I though it would be. Once again, the aggressiveness of being so dry was extremely painful. I had to cancel our dinner/date plans tonight because of how awful I looked/felt. I'm sorry for the awful quality, my phone has been acting up lately and crashing so I'm lucky I got these.

Popped some ibuprofen, smoked some Phantom Cookies with Mk Ultra Hash Wax. I also ate a CBD chew. Something better help!!!

On the plus side, today became a snuggle day with the Hubby. <3
I'm so happy I have him.

Saturday, February 22, 2014

Day 172-Moisturizer Withdrawal Day 2

My feet have been so damaged I'm sure it'll take a while before they show improvement. In fact, I'm sure they've got a long road in front of them. This morning I gave em a good scratch but my skin seemed to be able to handle the attack.

Today, well..I really wanted to call in. I should've. Ian ended up calling in cause he wasn't feeling well either so it would've been nice to have an extra day with him. Customers are so mean when it comes to stuff like appearance. It's hard to explain, but they look at you different, and talk to you different, they almost stare at you. I kinda ranted to my co-workers about my skin (something I never do) and my assitant managers ended up letting me leave an hour before close since I wasn't feeling/looking too good.

Morning/ Lunch

So far this has been very painful and I'm not even taking any extra drying methods. Its nice that I'm not as red, which I definitely think the moisturizer had something to do with.  But this tight, flaking/dry skin is just awful.

Friday, February 21, 2014

Day 171- Day 1 of Moisturizer Withdrawal

Yesterday afternoon when I saw how terrible my feet were looking. I decided to take the scary jump and try Moisturizer Withdrawal. So afternoon I ceased all use. I took a bath when I got home last night, and for the first time in my life since I can remember I didn't put anything on immediately when I got out. The pain was so immense I wasn't even ready for it. Everything on me tightened and tore....I looked frightening. I wish I would've taken a photo...But there was no way.

These are from this morning before work.

I know I shouldn't pick off any of the flakes but you try going out into public like that. I usually just pick off the largest/most unsightly ones. And it's not like it's not uncomfortable having these hanging off of you. They hurt.

And here are some photos from later in the afternoon. Ch-ch-ch-changes happened so I figured it was worth showing. Also wanted to show some of the large cracks and skin splits.

I would also like to add that I have read a lot of other blogs and of others going through MW and I will take some of their knowledge and find a system that works for me. Many take occasional Dead Sea Salt baths or Epsom Salt baths. Right now I think I'll stick to short showers one a week.

Thursday, February 20, 2014

170- Feet Getting Worse?

The oils worked great on other places on my body, but  I don't think my feet like anything. Clearly this was a bad idea. My feet may even be infected!

My face, arms and chest where the paper flakes were, are all healing. But it's my feet that I'm worried about. There's also all these cuts above my lips that are having some trouble healing. They tend to split and rip in the morning or in my sleep, or even if just open my mouth too wide.

Wednesday, February 19, 2014

Day 169

I've been using the Jojoba Oil and I really  like it.  Bit of a price tag on it, but at this point... The oil has done a great job in healing all those raw dray skin flakes and my skin feels pretty soft. I've been seriously considering trying moisturizer withdrawal but have gotten such good results from the Jojoba, I figured I could try to get those all healed before I try.

Monday, February 17, 2014

167-The Worst My Poor Feet Have Been (So Far)

I didn't sleep last night.The doxepin and marijuana can only do so much for so long, and considering this is my worst flare yet, I should be grateful for how much they helped before. I tossed and turned and tried super hard not to rip my skin to pieces. Ian tickled and rubbed but I'm only relaxed WHILE he's tickling, but he can't tickle me forever.

He's been losing his patience with me more and more. We end up snapping at each other. This is taking a toll on both of us. I depend on him too much and I feel bad, but I can't help it. I'm sorry I CONSTANTLY ask you to load me new bowls, and to get me more tea. I ask you to grab things for me that are two feet (no pun intended) away. He's going through a lot as well. Life is hard for both of us right now.
I'm thankful we have each other.

I finally fell asleep at 6am, I had today off so I figured I could afford to sleep in a little. A little turned into oversleeping and I ended wasting my day away, I get so angry at myself for that. Then I spen the rest of the day self loathing. When the itching FINALLY died down I was so eager to just go to bed that I didn't wrap my feet in gauze, and wear socks. I just went straight to bed. BIG Mistake! My weeping feet ended up acquiring fuzzies and blanket junk in my my sleep.
These were there only photos I took today.

I'm trying to avoid over bathing, so I just washed my feet in the tub and put a lil bit of Jojoa Oil. I know i shouldn't be puting anything on! But...*sigh*

Sunday, February 16, 2014

Day 166

Nothing new,  I feel my feet get worse and worse as the days go.
This definitely is my worst flare yet, as I haven't had any relief from pain and I'm back to getting 3 hours of broken sleep. I experienced my first stinger in my face on my right cheek So painful! Thank god it only last for 30 seconds or so. Also, although not pictured, my red sleeves have calmed down a bit, still there just less inflamed and red. My hands still look like an elderly woman. Sometimes I just don't see this ending...Like this is what my skin will do for the rest of my life.

I've started to take less baths, and slowly use less moisturizers.I may or may not go and buy some Jojoba Oil after work. The constant fighting back and forth and the fear of moisturizer withdrawal has left me afraid to do anything.

Saturday, February 15, 2014

Moisturizer Withdrawal-Why Won't Mommy and Daddy Stop Fighting?

Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!
Please just stop. Your constant fighting is making me cry.
Is it our fault? We'll be more quiet.
Mommy was just trying to do help. Daddy was just trying to save everyone.
But your pride. Your pride! 
It escalated, and now daddys stuff are in boxes, and mommy drinks every night. 

Thank you!
*Dramatic Bow*
I call that "ITSAN Family Politics"

Everybody is talking about moisturizer withdrawalrl, and I do mean EVERYBODY!
The drama around moisturizer withdrawal has taken a toll on me. I'm sad on how far it went, banning people. I'm sad that the community that I once found comfort in,  I'm hesitant of now. I'm scared of the other option as well. I know I take too many baths, I know they shouldn't be that warm either. But I can help it! That's how this whole Withdrawal is!

I'm scared! Okay! I am my wits end here!!! I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO ANYMORE! I hurt. Hurt so much.  I know Moisturizer withdrawal is going to hurt, and I don't think I have any painkillers strong enough for how bad it'll be. I'm already super dry and cracked and in pain.... I'm desperate. But am I desperate enough for this?

My chest, elbows, feet, arms and knees are all covered in these paper thin dry skin cuts. The skin can "flake" off easy as if tit were ready, but underneath it's revealed bright red and sore. Louise mentioned she had success with Jojoba Oil on those cuts and I'm egar to heal those. But maybe I shouldn't at all?

I don't know how much longer...

Wednesday, February 12, 2014

Day 162

I feel that things change everyday, even hours sometimes. I try not to complain because I'm sure Ian gets tired of it. Any crease or wrinkle in my skin is where there are tons of cuts. They wouldn't even be so bad if I didn't constantly get fuzzies in them and to end up opening the cut again in order to get out and healed over fuzzies. It happens! I feel like my wrists/red sleeve have gotten a lot better, but my feet have gotten worst.


Sunday, February 9, 2014

Day 159-My Knight and Shining Bug

I woke up late this morning, which is never a good way to start the day, but with topical Steroid withdrawal, you need extra time to prepare for the day.

Everything is getting worse, more ooze, and I'm itching everywhere. I'm barley getting sleep and neither is my poor fiance. So far Ian and I have slept together every night still. Something most couples haven't been able to achieve.

In my rush to work I forgot my hat. I wear this hat everyday. It hides most of my face and all of my forehead. but it's stylish still. I use the little amount of hair I have left to frame my face, to hide any other cuts. So I was upset when I realized I left it and had no time to run back and get it.

And then my Knight and Shining Bug showed up with this.

I have the most wonderful husband!

The food was pretty icky, but I nibbled it and drank the OJ. Later on the phone the Hubby and I talked about getting all bandaged and massaged up tonight for some healing. My sweetheart <3

Here are a few photos I took on my lunch. My face doesn't actually look to red, but everything else is. Sometimes it just feels like my skin is just made up of thousands of cuts.