Day 25-School

So I'm working full time and going to school part time. The class I'm taking right now is probably one of the worst classes one could be in. Understanding the actors process. In this class we are required to act 1 monologue and 1 dialogue in front of a class twice and then film it in costume, with lights camera the whole shabang. I DON"T THINK THERE ARE ANY RED PEOPLE IN FILM! I'm stressing out so bad. I already feel behind because I have to pay for all my college out of pocket with no help or aid. Last year  e I developed Lichen Planus and had to take a year off as well.
But now there's all these younger kids around and I feel like I'm wasting my time. Even worse all the young pretty girls. In shorts. SHORTS! SO MUCH SKIN!! :( I tried my best before class. I used some of the diaper rash cream again to take down the red but there's only so much it can do. Well, pictures explain better then I do.

 

• What is going on with my mouth?!
• Elbow is healing up nicely.
• NyanCat FTW!

Class was tough. I kept slathering cetiphil on in between our practice sessions. I kept at it, but stress doesn't help. Here are some after class.

 

That was quick huh!

                                           The back of my left leg with and without flash.

Inside of left wrist

I'm really worried about class on Wednesday. That's when we film our first monolouge.  I'm going to take another bath tonight and tomorrow and just attack it hard. Lots of sleepy pills. Tea. And good costumes..... >.>

At the moment, I feel very swollen and it's hard to stop myself from scratching that deep deep itch, especially on my legs at the moment. Well,  I'm going to go make some dinner and take a bath and head to bed. Work tomorrow and it's T-Side Tuesday!

Day 24

The bath didn't seem to help as much this time.... :/
But I didn't do as much damage this time....but that may be because I had took a lot of antihistamines and got really high. I haven't talked about it yet but if you've read any of my stuff so far then maybe you won't mind it. I am a medical marijuana user. I find it helps take down the itching sometimes if not distract me to not itch as much. But it helps a lot with the pain. If you're interested please ask! There's topicals (steroid free!) and edibles, tinctures, candies, and even just the plain old bud is the best at helping with immediate pain relief. Yay for living in a state with medical marijuana!

But any way here are some photos of healing... well ya know.

Day 21

I haven't had a decent night sleep in 3 days. I'm scratching in my sleep, fighting the the fits, the painful bone deep itch. My fiance tickled me and tried to help soothe me. But I still tore my self up. I woke up feeling my neck in pieces. I also started to get large cuts just where my hair ends on the back of my neck. A new cut represented by the burning on my knee, and two new ones. One both sides of my hip bone.

Here is a picture of some damage I made after a bath on my poor, wet, fragile skin.

Day 20

I woke up this morning dripping. I couldn't tell if it was sweat or ooze from weeping. But I woke up late so in a rush, I got dressed and rushed to work. But when I got there I started to realize how much more damage I did in my sleep. A weeping wound on my chin, on the front side of my neck and the ENTIRE lining of my hair in back.

 This first photo is what my elbow looks like when I try to straighten it and the second photo is that cut on my elbow, which is already healing.

I asked Ian to rescue me again, and meet me for an emergency lunch bandage meeting. Luckily it rained today so we weren't as busy at work, and since it was more chilly than usually (and I was FREEZING despite my skin being on fire, and hot to the touch)

I popped the collar up on my employee jacket and then wore a scarf on top of that. I did get a couple comments but ya know... it's not like I shouldn't be used to this by now.... :/
So why aren't I?
People have been treating me differently for my skin since I was born. I should be used to how mean some people are. But at the same time there are people who are so kind they make me cry as well.
And every day, I am so thankful. I have a wonder partner who is so supportive and helping me. I'm so grateful. Gotta keep up those positive though aye? :) We shall end the night with another Epsom salt bath and bandages before bed, with mittens...and antihistamines. :D Here I am a few hours out of the bath.

Day 19- Fragile Skin

I am. I called into work yesterday because of the lack of sleep, and being ill but I still attacked myself again in my sleep. There's a huge weeping wound on the front of my neck. Here I am at work. In pain and not happy.

I got some gauze from the first aid kit at work, kind of tucked it in place and tried hard not to scratch. I called the fiance and asked him to go buy some gauze for me before he went to work. He's so wonderful.
At lunch I had a shedding phase, that was normal of coarse but I didn't realize how much until I got home and found a good amount that my bra had managed to accumulate.

Lovey huh?

Also when I went to clock out at work I scrapped my elbow on the desk, a lil harder than normal. Which for most people wouldn't have been fine, But I knew with my already fragile skin I just did major damage.  Here's a picture of the damage.

 

 

A picture showing the damage from a few nights ago.

I wish I would've taken a picture of it, but when I got home fiance had gauze and more Epsom salt and my jammies and everything laid out for me when I got home.  I don't know what I'd do without him. <3

So I've put the gauze on to help with the weeping and to lessen the blow if I scratch. Still taking tons of meds to help with that. Doexpin and benadryll. Also would just like to say the these pictures don't show how red I really am. Muh Iphone doesn't do it justice.

Day 18-What Have I Done?!

WHAT HAVE I DONE!!!?!?!?

I'll tell you what I didn't do! Sleep!

Did NOT SLEEP!

I tried, I took so many sleeping pills. I put big old mittens on, (to lessen the damage when I sleep).

But here's what I wake up to!

 My right arm....I tore it to pieces! And I don't even remember it! Super sore, it feels bruised.  No itch, but oh goodness it hurts. The itching is crazy. I find it hard to believe that it's going to get worse than this.

 All of these are some of the trouble spots I've been having, as well as just the places I attacked last night. :(

Day 15 -2 Weeks of Topical Steroid Withdrawal

Over the next two days between school and work and the withdrawal itself I was exhausted. I was swollen, red, bleeding, itchy, and extremely sleep deprived. I found myself on the ITSAN forum a lot, reading over what others had put, as well as looking over other sufferers blogs.
There were many recommendations on taking epsom salt baths. Regular ol' Vaseline for an emollient (there are many times I have trouble bending) and zinc oxide to soothe the redness.

I had never found relief from any of those items before so I was already doubting them.

The bath itself. I probably put in more salt then I was "supposed" to. And it burned.... All the cuts, and scratches...and the damage I did...was screaming out as I tried to drown them. But it was a different type of burn...a good burn. For the zinc oxide I use Bordeaux's Butt Paste Extra strength. Here is a picture I took the day after the bath, paste and Vaseline.

While it's not the best, I was certainly pleased with the results. I still did some damage as I slept however. The 2nd picture shows a large cut on my shoulder.

Knee

Day 13

I woke up this morning feeling like plaster. My skin was super tight, almost shiny, and smooth to the touch. However I knew this was the stage just before flaking. So of coarse I wore black that day -.-
Here are a few pictures I took on my phone just before heading into work.

 

 Within a few hours my skin started to dry and flake. Here I am just a few hours later, now on my lunch. My face started to get blotchy and my eyes started to swell. My neck also became intensely itchy.