Wednesday, October 2, 2013

Day 27- A Stupid Stressful Day

This has been an awful day! Everything has been upsetting me!
Even after he tickled me for hours I still managed to damage myself.
I woke up barely able to open my mouth. Super tight.

Ian (fiance) and I got into a tiff this morning, nothing huge, and it was over as quick as it came but enough to upset me. As the tiff got worse so did my skin, next thing you know my entire neck is weeping. But taking turns, a new wound every 10 minutes or so. Infact that was the leading cause of us ending the fight.

I read on ITSAN about Domeboro (something that helps with the weeping) and we had seen it at Kaiser Permanente the last time I had got my blood drawn. I'm on immunosuppressants, (my current dermatologist straight up ignored me when I mentioned the TSW) But anyway, I didn't worry about buying the Domeboro at the time because I didn't think weeping would be coming on yet, and I was wrong. But I also needed to get my blood drawn again, so two birds, one stone, cool. These were before we left,  just a couple hours later.
New cut in between cleavage

The darker looking cuts are weeping crusted wounds.

So we get there and it's a 30 minute wait. Okay, whatever. Check in we grab a coffee and I head over to the pharmacy and I didn't see it. Already feeling irritated I head over to Ian and mention thy don't have it. He suggests we should ask, so we wait in line. When my turn comes the pharmacy technician doesn't even know what I'm talking about. He barley speaks english as it is, but when I enunciated the word
he said "No we no have here"
"Well I've seen it at Kaiser before"
"No, I could ask but no"
"Yes, please"
"And what is it?"
"Is that for you ears"
*Eye Twitch* "Your skin!"

So he goes and asks comes back
"No we no carry here."

I lost it at this point. Just inside. I'm sure I was snappy to him, combination of pain and..... ugh idiot. We head back to get my blood drawn  my eyes are all teary at this point. And well long story short. The woman drawing my blood pokes around my inflamed red skin to find a vein, and inserts. I don't usually say anything but this one hurt! When I mentioned it.. "Oh I don't know why I used a small needle" We get to the car and notice the whole gauze is soaked in blood, and it's bruised. Should've taken a photo.

I did everything I could before the shoot to try to get my appearance to be semi normal. We have 6 monologues, 1 for each student to be in and direct. When asked who wanted to be filmed first I specifically mentioned wanting to go Monday (I didn't mention why). Which I assumed everyone was fine with, because no one said no. We're on the second shoot when I notice my bag is missing. One of my team mates said our teacher saw the unattended bag and locked it in her office for safe keeping. I tell them that I'll be right back and to finish the second shoot. Find teacher-get bag. Run to the bathroom to try to make sure I don't look too bad. When another team mate exclaims that they've all been looking for me cause my scene  (to be filmed in) is already. I was really upset! I mean WHAT THE FUCK! A team of 6 people and you  5 just all volunteer me without me even being there?! I hate working in teams at school.

As we headed back I think she could tell I was upset because she asked "Is that okay?"  "Well I mentioned I didn't really want to go to today, but I guess it doesn't matter now." Had to film a few takes, loud students, me messing up, and a co-worker calling me in the middle of the scene....The whole time I felt the cracks, the dry skin, my face, the flaking...

And even more upsetting is because they volunteered me they also had told the teacher they were all okay with staying 10 minutes later because none of them had class. Again! WTF! I rush home to try to see Ian before he goes to work. I only got to see him for 5 minutes till he left. Not joking. At i was crying the whole time as he hugged me and then left.... Our schedules don' t match up. We never see each other.  I miss him. Here are a few photos taken after he left.

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